Happy Valentine's-What A Pain!
by Z-Aquarius-Kai
Summary: Shikamaru tries his hand at Valentine's Day..."Well, he could just write her a poem. Professing his love for her? That sounded yuck to him." What is Shikamaru going to do? He's not the conventional lover after all.


**Happy Valentine's-What A Pain!**

Shikamaru was happily lazing at the back bench when he heard shrieks and crazed laughter. What was happening? He opened his eyes and what he saw surprised him further. Sai had apparently given Ino a Valentine's Day gift and card and its was Ino's happiness that had interrupted his happy laziness.

Oh well! He could tune her out. He was experienced at that.

He closed his eyes but no more than two minutes had passed when he heard thumping of feet and screams. He opened his eyes. This time he saw a horde of girls chasing Sasuke with heart-shaped gifts and red balloons. He gagged. Poor Sasuke! Well, it was Sasuke's problem not his.

Wait, was that Naruto in the courtyard? With a clumsily wrapped gift, his friend was advancing towards a pink-haired girl. Shikamaru smiled. This he was not going to miss! Running as fast as he could, he covered up two floors in not time, even overtaking the awkward, slow gait of lovestruck Naruto.

Sakura, the pinkette, who, Shikamaru was very sure, was going to annihilate Naruto in the next few moments was already in a very bad mood. She was listening to Ino's account of Sai's Valentine's marvel and the more she listened the more she was angry with Sasuke. Why had he still not turned up professing his love just like Sai had done? It was an unspoken rule that boys must give their lady love something or the other on Valentine's Day. She was not going to forgive him.

Shikamaru settled beside a tree and was happy to find his best friend Choji already there equipped with chips and popcorn.

Both of them watched Naruto's approach.

Naruto finally reached Sakura and coughed trying to gather her attention. She didn't even turn. Naruto patted her on the shoulder and Sakura turned with a monstrous gaze, "What?"

Naruto smiled, "For the love of my life…" He tried to give her the clumsily wrapped present which, on closer observation, looked suspiciously like a packet of instant noodles.

Sakura tried to express her disapproval but Naruto stopped her, "Wait a second, Sakura-chan. Before you tell me that you can't live without me, let me tell you how much I love you through this great poem I wrote only for you."

He cleared his throat, closed his eyes and started, "Roses are red, sky is blue…"

"How original," laughed Ino while Sakura was trying her best to frame all of her anger into words.

Naruto opened his eyes, happy to see that a small audience had gathered to hear his proclamation of love. "You want original?" he asked. Someone from the crowd hooted. "I'll give you original, believe me."

Naruto took Sakura's hand and started again-

"I am stuck to you like glue

Umm

Something smells like Poo

Oh my dear Sakura

I love you."

The audience sounded really happy but Sakura screamed in anger, "You are disgusting, idiot! I hate you."

Shikamaru laughed and laughed as he watched Sakura tell Naruto exactly what she thought of him. Choji only smiled and offered Shikamaru a packet of chips. Shikamaru looked at him shrewdly. There was something wrong with Choji today. What a pain! Well, he would find out eventually.

After roaming about a bit, the two of them stopped at the Ramen Shop.

"My treat," Shikamaru said.

Surprisingly, the ever hungry Choji responded with just a "Hmm."

Before Shikamaru could ask him what exactly was the problem they saw an even sadder looking Asuma with a bored looking Kakashi sitting at one of the tables.

"Oi, Asuma-sensei!" Shikamaru greeted his teacher.

"Hmm," came the forlorn reply. What was the problem with everyone today? Shikamaru wondered.

The students sat beside the teachers. Shikamaru would have never sat with a teacher but he knew these two pretty well and they were nothing like your conventional teachers.

Kakashi asked over the noodles, "So, how was your Valentine's Day?"

"A pain but full of amusements," smiled Shikamaru.

Kakashi nodded, "Naruto tried to profess his love again?"

"Yeah," Shikamaru nodded. "Did you advise him against it?"

"No," laughed Kakashi. "I encouraged him. I told him why it's important to tell the person you love even if there's a 99% they won't love you back because after all there's still a 1% chance that they might. They might actually expect something from you today and a disappointment may kill even that 1% of a chance. Then, you would have to mope around just like Asuma here!"

"What? Asuma-sensei, you didn't give Kurenai-sensei anything?" Choji asked, amazement all over his face while Shikamaru gave a characteristic yawn.

Asuma made an even sadder face, "I forgot and now she's angry with me." He turned to Kakashi, "And you are not supposed to blabbing about my-my issues to students!"

"Chill," Kakashi said, getting up. "Well, see ya!"

Shikamaru asked Asuma, "Is Kakashi-sensei so perverted that no girl is willing to date him?"

Kakashi hovered at the doorstep, "Oh please! I have so many girls after me that- that-"

Asuma intervened, "Kakashi has no girls after him."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at his colleague but Asuma waved at him, "Didn't you say you were busy?"

"But shouldn't you give something to Kurenai-sensei?" Choji asked after Kakashi had left. "I mean, wouldn't she be happy to know that you are sorry."

"Forgetting something as useless as Valentine's Day is nothing to be sorry about," Shikamaru said.

Asuma nodded, "I agree but I think I'll just get her something. Maybe this time she'll actually let me talk without slamming the door to my face." He got up, "By the way, Choji, how was Hinata?"

Shikamaru spluttered over his Pepsi. He coughed, "Hinata? What about her?"

Asuma made an apologetic face while Choji looked livid.

"Oh well, gotta go. Catch you later, kids!"

Shikamaru crossed his arms and looked at Choji, "Hinata?"

"So? I like her. Got a problem?" Choji asked with defiance.

Shikamaru's gaze softened, "No. I am happy for you even though I would like to warn you love is a pain."

Choji ignored him and continued, "But she doesn't even know me!"

"Yeah, she is a bit, you know…," Shikamaru trailed off after seeing a dangerous look in Choji's eyes. "So, why don't you just go ahead and ask her to be your Valentine?" He mentally gagged. The word sounded weird on his tongue.

"But-"

"No buts…Butts are for sitting," Shikamaru said giving his best friend a thumbs up. "Go ahead, Choji. There's no way she will refuse you."

"You think so? Thanks Shikamaru. You are a great friend," Choji got up with tears of emotion flooding down his face. "I had better buy her a card or she might get angry if I turn up empty-handed."

"Materialistic women," muttered Shikamaru.

"By the way, Shikamaru, shouldn't you give something to Temari? She might never speak to you if she gets angry," Choji delivered these words of wisdom with great amusement watching Shikamaru turn the darkest shade of maroon.

"What? No-We are not…there's nothing-We are not together. I don't even like her…in that way and not even does she," spluttered Shikamaru.

"Oh, okay. Then its fine," smiled Choji wickedly. "But if there's something going on, you should give her something. I doubt she would ever forgive you if you didn't and I don't want another moping heartbroken person around. Well, see ya!"

Shikamaru tried to forget what Choji had said but his words were haunting him. What if Temari never talked to him again? Not that he cared but he wouldn't like to complicate things. He did like her…a bit…okay, maybe a lot. Jeez, this Valentine's Day was becoming such a pain! Well, he could just write her a poem. Professing his love for her!? That sounded yuck to him.

He settled beneath a tree and opened a scroll. _Dear Temari_, he wrote. _Your eyes…_

Temari was at a tea stall with her teammates and siblings Gaara and Kankuro when she saw Shikamaru walking towards them. "Why hello there, lazybum! How's life?"

Shikamaru had a sudden urge to turn around and run at top speed. He chided himself mentally for making fun of Naruto and Choji. But he was not going to fail at this. No, if everybody else could do it why couldn't he?

Reaching Temari, he ignored the expressionless Gaara and the sniggering Kankuro and wordlessly handed her the scroll. Temari took it with a surprised look. Shikamaru smiled sheepishly and left.

"Oooh, little Temari has got a Valentine! Temari has Valentine! Temari has a Valentine-ouch! No need to hit me," Kankuro stopped teasing Temari to rub his head where Temari had planted a punch.

Temari sat down smiling hugely. That she had not expected this in her wildest dreams was an understatement. She opened the scroll. Shikamaru's dirty scrawl (A/N-in italics) read-

_Dear Temari_

_Your eyes are nothing like the Sun_…That was a compliment, right?

_Blood is far more red than your lips_…what!?

_Your skin pales in comparison to the soft, white snow_…was this a joke? Temari gritted her teeth and seeing her even Kankuro stopped laughing.

_Your hair, I grant, is far better than Medusa's_

_I have seen roses-pink and beautiful_

_But no such roses I see in your cheeks_…Temari got up and walked away from her brothers.

_There are perfumes sweeter than your scent_…Idiot Shikamaru! He was not going to live after this.

_I love to hear you speak but I swear, music has more melody_

_When I see you, I see no goddess in your face_

_But I must confess I love you for who you are_

_In my love I am honest_

_I won't ever lie and make false comparisons_

_Because perfection has no comparison._

_Sorry, did I make you angry?_

"Gah! Shikamaru! You are so irritating. I hate you…you-you…" Temari stopped screaming and burst out into laughter. "_I love you too, idiot._"

* * *

**I know this is a day late so bear with me!**

**This is my first Naruto fic! Yay! Do REVIEW and let me know what you feel about this. Suggestions are welcome :D**

(inspired by a Shakespeare sonnet hehehehe lol)  
**Sorry for any and all typos/errors...**

**See ya!**


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